Doctor shares psychological trick to help anxious children fall asleep

Sleeping alone can be frightening for children and stressful for parents, but one pediatrician has shared a technique to assist with this issue.

Dr. Michael Milobsky (@dr_mikem) of Castle Rock, Colorado, found that the Yale Department of Child Psychology developed a game designed to assist children who are anxious about sleeping alone. In a recent TikTok video, Milobsky, a father of seven, explained this method, known as “The Game.”

Milobsky told Newsweek: “I believe this method is effective because it isn’t coercive and gives the child a sense of control in the process.”

Anxiety about sleeping alone is a common issue among young children. According to the Sleep Foundation, sleep problems affect 25 to 50 percent of children and 40 percent of adolescents. Sleep plays a crucial role in a child’s mental and physical development, impacting everything from cognitive performance to emotional stability​.

During the clip, which has over 100,000 views so far, Milobsky explains the technique, which aims to reduce anxiety by making the process of falling asleep more engaging and less intimidating for children.

How ‘The Game’ Works

“The Game” is recommended for children who are at least 3 years old, as they need to understand the concept. The process involves asking the child to “put on a show” by demonstrating what it looks like to fall asleep on their own. He advises parents to set a timer for two minutes, during which the child goes through the motions of getting into bed and pretending to fall asleep without a parent present. When the time is up, the child can leave the room if they choose.

Every one to two weeks, the duration is increased to four minutes, then six, nine, and eventually 12-15 minutes. Speaking from experience, Milobsky points out that many children are “just falling asleep in bed” after about 10 minutes.

If the child wakes up during the night, they are allowed to go back to sleep wherever they want, even if that means returning to their parents’ room. The key is to praise the child for their effort and for doing something they found difficult. This helps them build confidence and feel a sense of accomplishment.

“Eventually, the game gets boring to the child and they become accustomed to sleeping alone,” Dr. Milobsky said. He reported a 90 percent success rate among families who have used this technique in his practice called Pediatrics at the Meadow

Broader Implications for Pediatric Sleep Health

Addressing sleep anxiety in children has significant implications for their long-term health. Studies indicate that inadequate sleep can lead to a range of issues, from behavioral problems to academic difficulties. The American Academy of Pediatrics has linked poor sleep in early childhood to conditions such as allergic rhinitis, immune system dysfunctions, and increased risk of anxiety and depression​​.

Milobsky’s innovative approach provides parents with a practical tool to support their children’s sleep health. By reducing bedtime anxiety, children can achieve the restorative sleep they need for optimal growth and development.

TikTok Reacts

So far, the video has over 5,000 likes and more than 110 comments.

One user said: “2.5 weeks in and my daughter just fell asleep for the 2nd time (non consecutively) on her own!! Game changer!!!

“This is what we do but I tell her to just ‘pretend’ she is sleeping for 10 minutes and I will come in to see if she is pretending really good. Works every time,” said another comment.

However, some parents aren’t convinced. A third commenter wrote, “My 6 [year old] takes an hour to fall asleep, even with me, this isn’t gonna help us.”

If you have a personal dilemma, let us know via life@newsweek.com. We can ask experts for advice on relationships, family, friends, money and work and your story could be featured on Newsweek‘s “What Should I Do? section.