John Mulaney Became a Father and a Watch Collector on the Same Day

John Mulaney: Do you ever go to those big [watch] shows?

GQ: Yeah, I was just in Geneva for Watches and Wonders. Were you paying attention to the releases? What did you like?

It wasn’t so much paying attention, [but] I get fed more watch content now. I’m trying to think of what stood out to me.

Why are you getting fed it? The algorithm is learning you like watches or you’re hearing from people in your life?

I’ve been looking at watch stories over the past couple of years, so my Google News serves up watch stories as if they are the third or fourth biggest thing happening in the world sometimes. I like Grand Seiko a lot and there’s this high-beat, 36,000 automatic chronograph thing. It’s like a really interesting shape for a Grand Seiko watch. I have no idea what it looks like in person and I am not even sure if it’s for me, [but] I noticed it. I enjoy Grand Seiko watches.

Yeah, I’ve noticed you gravitate towards Grand Seiko. You have a lot of Chopard and Piaget, too. But you kind of just skipped right by Rolex, Omega—the really recognizable brands.

I don’t wear Rolex, Patek [Philippe], or Omega on the television show or even that often [in my day-to-day]. I don’t have an Omega.

Why is that? They just aren’t your taste?

No, they are. Just some other ones have a bit more of a lean-in thing. Like, when I see someone wearing a Submariner, I don’t ask any questions about it, I know what it is. And I’m just more interested in watches that [are a little more] mysterious. That’s glossing over tons of nuance to this—I have a really nice vintage Patek Philippe Calavatra that Olivia [Munn, Mulaney’s wife] got me.

Watching your standup specials, I don’t ever remember a watch being on your wrist. Maybe it was hidden, but how did the watch thing start for you?

Quite comically. Okay, so the full story is I once did a private event and I was gifted a Vacheron [Constantin] watch. I was gifted it and I was paid for the gig, but I was also given this gift. It was this billionaire’s daughter’s birthday party.

Wow. Sick.

Now, not to rehash my own standup material, but when I was going through a bad period in life, I sold this watch for cash.

The Vacheron?

I sold the Vacheron and the guy was like, “I can give you a little for this, but I can’t move this as easily.” And I was like, “What can you move easily?” And he was like, “Patek Philippe, Rolex.” I was like, “Got it.” So in the special I did, I tell the story of buying a Rolex, which all true, but I had already seen that guy before.

So he told me, like, “Don’t try to sell a watch like this [VC]. This is pointless.” Not that pawning a Rolex at half its value immediately was not pointless. But anyway, that happened. I never wore those watches. I just sold them.