When a Guy Calls His Girlfriend ‘Partner’

“Partner” is an ambiguous term.

For example: On my first day of 10th grade, when the new twenty-something-year-old drama teacher introduced herself to my class, a group of pissy, sunburnt teenagers, by saying she was a soprano who had just graduated from the University of Miami and currently had “a partner.” Her vague, presumably progressive word choice piqued our interests enough to distract us from our iPads and consider what she meant, really, when she said “partner.” It wasn’t long before rumors ran rampant that the new, turtlenecked staff member at our tiny Catholic school must be a lesbian—something we knew had gotten teachers fired in the past. By the end of her first week, our new drama teacher had to reveal to us that she was, in fact, dating a man, which was a bit of a fun-killer for those of us trying to track down her lesbian paramour online. Ironically, I recall her lamenting, she had used the nondescript phrase in an attempt to keep her love life private.

“Partner” is useful that way. If you want to keep your relationship anonymous, or if the person you’re seeing doesn’t quite fit into the binary of boyfriend or girlfriend, then the term sums up the nature of that dynamic quite politely. On Sunday night, when actor Timothée Chalamet concluded his Critics Choice Award acceptance speech, having won the best-actor prize for his role in Marty Supreme, he did so by thanking his “partner of three years.” His voice faltering slightly, he said, “Thank you for our foundation. I love you. I couldn’t do this without you. Thank you from the bottom of my heart.”

He was referring to his romantic partner, Kylie Jenner—the other half of his incredibly buzzy public relationship. And his words felt notable for a few reasons, one of them being that the speech was the first time he had meaningfully vocalized his relationship publicly. In his December Vogue cover story, he declined to speak about Jenner—a decision he somewhat nonplussly clarified by stating, “I don’t say that with any fear, I just don’t have anything to say.” Though he did not say her name onstage, the camera panned to a starry-eyed Jenner seated in the audience, who mouthed the words “I love you” to her beau.

Following his speech, a debate over semantics began to simmer online, around my office, and in my DMs. “Partner” has functioned as a barometer for the ever-fluctuating politics of modern romance. Some praised Chalamet’s use of it as a respectful step up, an acknowledgment that solidified their status as two adults in a real-deal sustained relationship that involves business, children, and extreme fame. Others were simply confused by the phrasing of the second part of his statement, when he thanked Jenner for their “foundation.” (After the show, fellow nominee Amanda Seyfried wrote on social media that she thought Chalamet was referring to some sort of charity.) All of which is to say, the term “partner,” particularly when it is used by straight men in reference to their women romantic counterparts, is contentious for many reasons.

Following the speech, I informally polled my GQ colleagues about how they refer to their girlfriends or wives, and I gleaned that the gender neutrality of the word “partner” can sometimes be deployed as a way to drum up intrigue, calling into doubt the presumed heterosexuality of a relationship you don’t know much else about, and therefore making it a little more interesting than just a plain boy-girl one. (For the record, gay people can be just as yawn-inducing as straight people.) Some suggested that straight people using the term could be seen as a very light form of appropriation of its use within queer circles, given that “partner” has long been a catch-all term used by gay couples to characterize their long-term relationships in lieu of legal designations like “husband” or “wife,” prior to the broader legalization of same-sex marriage in the 21st century. In 2026, I can’t really say that the word feels homo-exclusive, but it does strike me as progressive in an outdated way. “Partner” falls into the same, sometimes confusing brand of political correctness that gave rise to cancel culture and the portmanteau “mansplaining,” and half-heartedly condemned traditional forms of chivalry, such as men holding open doors and covering dinner.