Woman Accuses Co-Workers of Being ‘Stingy’ Because They Won’t Help Fund Honeymoon 1 Year After Buying Gifts for Her Wedding

NEED TO KNOW

• A woman has accused her co-workers of being “stingy” because they won’t help fund her belated “luxury” honeymoon, one year after they bought her gifts for her wedding

• The items she wants include airfare, a rental car, side trips and cash starting at $75

• “We’re modestly paid teachers, and a trip to South America is well beyond our budgets,” one of her co-workers wrote in letter to an advice columnist

A woman has accused her co-workers of being “stingy” because they won’t help fund her belated honeymoon — but they think she’s “selfish” and “bad-mannered.”

One of her co-workers detailed the dilemma in a letter to the “Dear Eric” advice column, published by The Mercury News. They began by asking, “Should I tell a co-worker that many of her workmates are criticizing her as selfish and self-centered?” before explaining the circumstances.

They said the woman got married a year ago but didn’t take a honeymoon at the time because she and her partner — who are both in their 40s — had just taken a two-week trip to Europe before their wedding.

But now, they have decided they want a “dream honeymoon” at a luxury resort in South America — and the woman expects her co-workers to chip in to make it happen.

“To pay for it, they’ve created an account on a crowd-funding honeymoon website and are letting everyone know they’d like it if we’d all chip in,” the advice seeker wrote, noting that the woman is requesting items such as airfare, side trips, a rental car, resort fees and cash “starting at $75.”

The individual pointed out that they — and many of their co-workers — gave the woman “a nice wedding gift” a year ago. “We’re modestly paid teachers, and a trip to South America is well beyond our budgets,” they wrote.

However, the woman has made it known that she is nowhere near her honeymoon fund goal and that she’s “disappointed that we’re stingy.”

“Behind her back, people are criticizing her as being clueless and bad-mannered, both for asking us to pay for her delayed honeymoon and then criticizing us for not being more generous,” the advice seeker said.

The individual then explained that they feel conflicted about how to navigate the awkward situation.

“I don’t want to say anything to her (or give her money). But I fear that if I don’t tell her, no one will, and she’ll have no idea why she’s at risk of losing friends,” they explained.

They concluded their letter by asking if it would be a “kindness” to say something to the woman or if they should instead “take the easy route and keep quiet.”

In his reply, columnist R. Eric Thomas made it clear that he felt the woman was out of line for pushing her co-workers to contribute to her honeymoon fund.

“My goodness, was there a sale at the audacity store? I wonder where some people get it,” he wrote.

“It’s perfectly fine to make it easy for people to give gifts and show their love, but it’s inappropriate, and rude, to criticize people for not ponying up the dough, especially when a gift has already been given,” he continued. “Wedding fundraising pages are not invoices that require payment under threat of credit ruination.”

As for whether the advice seeker should tell the woman that people are “chafing at her request,” Eric argued that it would likely be a futile endeavor, “considering that neither insight nor common sense were listed on her registry.”

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Instead of communicating on behalf of the group, he suggested that the individual consider talking to the woman about how they’re personally feeling about the situation.

“If you decide that this is a relationship you want to salvage, tell her that you’re happy for her, but it rubs you the wrong way to be called stingy for not giving her a second gift,” Eric advised. “As a friend, hopefully she can listen and adjust her attitude.”

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