Where Do Men Go From Here? 8 Influential Voices Weigh In
Bo Burnham is my best friend. We have a specific friendship where we can challenge each other, and call each other out, and also just play video games. It’s a friendship where emotion isn’t criminal.
BUTTIGIEG is worried people don’t hang out enough.
People are socializing less in terms of just literally going to parties less, being physically around other people less. There’s no substitute for that, and something is lost if we don’t have that.
PALIHAPITIYA is worried about what modern social life is doing to the birth rate.
The initial trend is a little worrisome, simply because what you see is family formation going down, childbirth rates going down, and I think that that’s just a shame. But in America, it is very hard to balance everything society demands of you and have a large family. I do worry for my kids that even with resources, they’ll be like, “I only want to have one kid.” I just think that would be terrible.
Statistically, the distribution of having more kids means that American society will have one more Steve Jobs, it’ll have one more Michael Jordan, you’ll have one more Beyoncé.
On the topic of how men can feel less lonely, 2HOLLIS recommends a mosh pit.
The crowd at one of my shows looks like a fantasy saga. The front row is mostly all girls, and it’s very still. More observant and gentle. And then you move five feet back, and it’s just an absolute chaos war field of boys—and girls, and anybody. It’s literally just a battlefield. And then you go all the way back and it’s like the elders. There might be that one wizard up in the corner. It’s so sick, honestly. It’s beautiful.
BUTTIGIEG recommends opening up to your friends.
One thing that is definitely true of all of my close friends, most of whom are guys, is a level of emotional transparency about what you’re going through and what’s tough, what hurts, where you need help, when you need somebody to be there for you.
As does ROUNTREE.
There’ve been guys that I’ve tried to be friends with and they’re just not really willing to share their truth. Everything’s cool, or like, “Oh no, nah, I’m all right.” That’s not real.
At a minimum, you could let your friends make fun of you, like PALIHAPITIYA.
My friends and I have a very vibrant group chat, and we take the piss out of each other constantly. We delight in our wins. We delight in our respective miseries. We’ve really tried to be useless to each other. We’re not trying to be transactional. We’re just there to be friends.
What kind of future do you want?
2HOLLIS: I just want a family, honestly. I want children. I want to find my true love whenever that’s meant to happen. My friends and I always talk about all of us, when we’re older, building a little town and we all live right next to each other, and all our kids grow up together.
